Feminism is Nonnegotiable

Margaret Cho, I Have Chosen to Stay and Fight

Feminism is nonnegotiable.

If you are not a feminist, you do not deserve to live.

Do you think you grew out of the ground? That the stork dropped you off? You fell from a tree? NO. You came out of a woman. And even if your mother was awful, abandoned you, abused you, ignored you, made you hate yourself, put you on a diet at age six so that, to this day, you still have a complex about your weight, molested you, competed with you, made you join a cult, was jealous of you, was nicer to your brother than you, sewed you matching outfits, made you eat liver or any other kind of organ meat (or, like my mom, dried fish!), gave you a Toni home perm, made you as crazy as she, did not love you – you still owe her your life. You would not be here if it were not for her. I’m not telling you that you have to do anything for your mom. I’m just saying we need to respect women for the fact that they are where the world begins. They are the reason we are still here, and will continue to be here. Forever.

So if you are not a feminist, kill yourself.

Normally, I do not advocate suicide, but this time you do not have a choice. You do not have the right to live on this planet, you need to kill yourself and go to your misogynist heaven, which is much like the Playboy Mansion, where you can read all sorts of men’s magazines like Maxim, FHM, Stuff, Hustler, Gear, and, of course, Playboy, except… there will be no women there. No real T & A, just paper cuts and those annoying subscription cards that fall out all over the place, because you did not appreciate the wonder of what T & A really is, and because you did not understand the importance of us being here, your exploitation of them makes you eligible for a hell where we are not there at all. Kind of like jail, but you do not get to make other inmates your bitch.

And then you have to read the articles. That is what I call Hades. Pussy, pussy, everywhere, but not a drop to…

What people need to understand is that the pussy is the Front Door of Life. Do you get that? Nobody really thinks about it like that up in the dusty ancient cabinet of old white men that think they know everything. Woman has the right to let someone in, or to tell them to come back another time, or even to have a sign that says NO SOLICITORS.

Woman has the right to be exalted, cherished and respected.

Woman has the right to choose, to choose for herself, for her own body, for her own life.

Feminism is nonnegotiable. Word to your mother.

Margaret Cho, I Have Chosen to Stay and Fight

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